Friday, December 2, 2011

The dumb blonde theory

I was telling Joey a blonde joke, and he starts complaining about why blondes are the ones being stereotyped as dumb, and not people with other hair colours. I told him that everyone probably got this information based on statistics. They most likely gathered data on which group of people, based on hair colour, are the stupidest, and blondes won the stupid contest. But Joey refused to listen to logic and rants about how it’s probably some guy in the 1800s that came with this idea and now blondes are being stereotyped.
Kaya told him that it was not some guy in the 1800s, it was Joey himself who came up with the idea that blondes are stupid and at the time, he thought it was really clever, but afterwards, he realize he’s blonde himself and now he’s being made fun of my me everyday. Hahaha, I love her reasoning.
Well, most probable, the dumb blonde theory is based statistics. Sean, if you have read all my older blog posts, is extremely idiotic. No further evidence needed. And he’s a blonde.
Dena is a natural blonde, but she dyed her hair black last year when she was going through her emo phase. One day, I was sitting in class, thinking about my English essay, and I absentmindedly closed my pencil case then tried to put my pencil in. Dena came by and laughed, and said, “Having a blonde moment?” How can you say that when you’re a blonde yourself? I guess only blondes can. Ah, Dena, a true blonde at heart.
Joey is stupid beyond belief, yet he still thinks he’s the smartest person alive. Now, I’m not saying that he’s not good at anything. He’s generally good at sports. He’s good at some things, just not many things. Anyways, he was laughing at some kid we saw at the play A Christmas Carol because the kid was all like, “I don’t know if you guys have this, but my school has something called D2L.” Every single school in our city has D2L (a website where you can upload your work for teachers.) I have to admit, it is pretty funny, but what Joey tells me is even funnier. He doesn’t know how to upload homework into D2L. That is the whole entire point of the website, so you can upload your homework or hand it in. How did he get through grade 7 and 8 without knowing how? Because Kaya is so nice, she agreed to show him how to in the school library. And it just gets funnier. It turns out Joey doesn’t know how to turn on a computer. He pressed the power button on the monitor, and when nothing happened, he pressed it again, turning it off when he just turned it on. Seeing that the monitor wasn’t responding to his continuous pressing, Joey was confused and kept on pressing. He did not think to turn on the main processor. Nope, that’s just how smart he is. (I am going to turn on the processor, Kaya, you did it before me!) I finally had enough of his pressing rampage and turned on his desktop for him.
It gets better. Joey doesn’t know how to use a calculator as well. He has this huge scientific one and he doesn’t know how to use it. He doesn’t know where the exponent button is, so instead, he just multiplies everything repeatedly. After I told him where it is, he said that he is so much faster at doing math homework now. He doesn’t know where negative and positive buttons are either, or anything else for that matter. And he proudly admits that to me. Then he said, “at least I know how to punch in numbers in the calculator.” I told him I was very impressive in my most sarcastic voice, but I guess my sarcasm is wasted on him because he told me he was really impressed with himself too.
Need I state more examples of dumb blondes? I now have proved that this stereotype is true. I’m not saying that all blondes are like Joey, some blond people are really smart, just not Joey. This is kind of like the “a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square” thing. Stereotypes are not untrue, rather, they are incomplete.

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