Thursday, December 22, 2011

Team Spirit!

No. We don’t have any. It’s not a secret how much the Senior Girls team suck. Here are some of the comments from the team member’s parents.
Elise’s dad: I will chop my head off if you guys win one game.
My dad: Your team sucks! (Before we even played a single game.)
Me: What? Why?
Dad: Because people like you are on it.
Me: .........

The boy’s team was dissing us like our parents, but it’s funny how things turned out. They lost 30 points on their first game. 30 freaking points! Yes, we had a good laugh over that one.
We lost too, obviously, but slightly more graceful than them.

Pete had the nerve to diss our team after they got creamed, and I tried, unsuccessfully, to defend us. It went somewhat like this.
Me: What are you talking about? The boy’s team sucks so much! Did you not see how much you’ve lost?
Pete: Like you guys didn’t lost by 30 freaking points!
Me: 28, actually. So we did better than you guys. One of the people on your team keeps dribbling on his foot!
Pete: Yeah well, at least we know where the basket is!
Me: ........Excuse me?
Pete: Yeah, I saw your team play. People were like, shooting for the wall.
And he was impolite enough to go on naming names. I have to admit, what he said was not untrue, but it was terribly offensive.
Not a single person is supportive of the team! Not the parents, not Joey (who pretty much just said the same thing as my dad), no one on the boy’s team, and not even the coaches.
Coach: Are you excited for the game?
Me: Yeah! Do you think we’re going to win?
Coach: ummmmmmm......
Me: Don’t you have faith in us?
Coach: ummmmmmm........

Maybe one day, we’ll play against a team of midgets and we’ll win by two points. Hey, I don’t wish for the impossible, two points is more than good enough.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Love square

A wise man (possibly a woman) once said, “The greatest distance in the world is not across the Pacific Ocean, nor is it the distance between life and death, it is when I am standing right in front of you, but you know not of my love for you.”
Ok, I don’t love him. It’s not that serious. It’s more of a crush, a mini crush, since I don’t really know him. In fact, I didn’t really even pay much attention to him last year, when I first transferred to the school. He’s in my English class this year, and I noticed him more. I thought he, Mike, was really cute, that’s about it.
One day, Mike and I were talking. I think it’s the first time that we were talking. I don’t remember what we were talking about, but he asked me if I was here (in the school) last year. I was kind of surprised. It’s not a big school, in fact, it’s a tiny school compared to other schools and I’ve been there for a year, how could he have not known? I told him I was, and I knew his name last year even though we’ve never talked.
He then said, “Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t exist in my life.” Wow, thanks a lot.

But I was determined not to give up. I tried to talk to him any chance I’ve got, which unfortunately, is never.
I was heartbroken when I heard that he likes this girl, not just simply like, he really liked her. He’s liked her for two years. This girl happened to be a fan girl of Joey’s. I guess that’s probably the reason Mike never asked her out.
I was at my locker, talking to Joey, when Brenna, his fan girl walked up and started blabbing to him. Mike, seeing Brenna, walked up and tried to get her attention. So I was like, “Mike, blah, blah, blah.....”trying to get his attention, and Mike was like, “Brenna, blah, blah, blah.....”trying to get her attention, and of course, Brenna is all like, “Joey, blah, blah, blah....” trying to get his attention, and Joey is just standing there, drinking from his water bottle. It’s like a love square; no one can have the person they want. I like Mike, Mike is in love with Brenna, and Brenna is crushing hard on Joey. And Joey is hopelessly in love with himself.
I’m trying to talk to Mike, Mike is trying to talk to Brenna, Brenna is trying to talk to Joey, and Joey is just there, drinking water. Brenna is totally oblivious to Mike’s attempt to talk to her, and Mike is glancing at me every few minutes, giving me a look that says, why the hell are you talking to me when I’m trying to talk to Brenna? Joey is separate from the world, lost in his own little island of self affection.

Mike finally got the courage to ask Brenna out, and she agreed. Now Mike and Brenna have each other, Joey has himself, and I’m all alone on my own little desert island with no one, picking up the scatter pieces of my broken heart.

I hate love squares.

Friday, December 9, 2011

The English class stereotype

I hardly think it’s fair when someone stands up in front of the class everyday and talks about justice and equality when they are the most discriminating person themselves. What does that make them? A hypocrite.
This complimenting thing has gotten bigger and bigger. Today, the vice principal came into our class and gave a huge speech about how she is absolutely fed up with the boys in the English class making inappropriate comments (compliments) to girls. “This is sexual harassment, and it is a criminal offense,” quoting the vice principal.
She told us she was disgusted with us even though no one had done anything wrong. Now, that is discrimination. She is singling this class out because it’s the English class.
The social teacher was the initial person who filed the complaint, and he is the one to talk about justice everyday. Ironic, isn’t it?
How can the teachers, even the principal tell us that they’ve been trying to stop the stereotype that the English class is the dumb class when they are the ones feeding the stereotype themselves? If they don’t treat us like dumbasses and slackers, maybe the other students wouldn’t have kept on with the stereotype. Talk about hypocritical.
The boys in the class half put up with being sent to the office and all this madness for a week now, but today, when we got this speech, and someone actually got suspended, they have had enough. They decided to start a petition against discrimination and sexism.
They are starting a riot in the office, saying that if you suspend one of them from school, you suspend all of them.
I’d like to see the stupid VP try and suspend everyone.

Ending on a happier note, good luck on your piano concert tomorrow Elise!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Getting sent to the office....for complimenting people

The most absurd thing happened today. Wait, I take that back. Absurdity is not uncommon in the English class. In fact, it’s so frequent it’s almost daily. But whatever happened before, this has got to be one of the stupidest and most unjust.
It all started with Dena. A couple weeks ago, she was complaining non stop to me about how the guys in our class never pay any attention to her, they always compliment Sierra, Diana and Ashley instead. She then went up and told all the guys, and bad timing, I happened to be standing right beside her when she whined to the boys about being ignored. From that day on, the guys complimented everyone, and I mean everyone, especially Dena and I daily.
I was walking down the hallway today with some other girls, and Jose commented on how nice we looked, courtesy of Dena. The social teacher walked right up to us after Jose was out of earshot and demanded to know what he said to us. At the time, I wasn’t really paying attention on what Jose was saying so I had no idea until someone told me later. We all told him we weren’t listening, and we didn’t hear it. I don’t know why everyone lied.
Later that afternoon, I got called down to the office. In the office along with me, were all the other girls Jose had complimented. Except for Clarissa, she was not there because she had been complimented. She was there because of something Sean said (I was surprised he had the brains to think up of such an insult. I’ve got to say, I’m impressed.)
The vice principal told us that a teacher reported that Jose had been telling us how nice we looked when we were walking down the hallway, and she hopes we know that he’s being sarcastic. (I think it’s more out of pity than sarcasm, because of Dena’s whining. Jose sounded so sincere, but then again, he always sounds sincere. Last year, when we were playing tennis baseball, and I sucked at pitching--sucked would be understatement---I couldn’t pitch a tennis ball straight to save my life. He told me I was the best tennis baseball pitcher he’d ever seen, and he sounded so sincere. I asked him if he was being sarcastic, and he told me he’s never sarcastic. But then again, we were best friends last year. Things changed.) The vice principal then started this speech about how this is harassment and as a female, she will not tolerate this. She then called in Jose to apologize to all of us (My god, every single one of us was trying so hard not to burst out laughing during his apology). She was all like, “this is harassment! Harassment I say! If this ever happens, you are going to be suspended, understand?”
Jose: I understand.
VP: You are hanging on a thin thread. Apologize to the girls for your inexcusable behavior!
Jose: I’m really sorry.
VP: I called your parents, and they are very embarrassed of you. You should be embarrassed of yourself!
Jose: I am. I am embarrassed of myself.
Embarrassed for what? For complimenting us? That’s harsh. And it all goes back to the stupid social teacher to rant out on Jose. I don’t even know what their problem is! Jose has nothing to apologize for.
The social teacher sends people to the office fro saying Jesus Christ, and now he’s sending them for complimenting people. I’m just going to stay absolutely silent in front of him from now on. God forbid my parents get a phone call telling them their child is suspended because she said good morning to someone.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Birthday bash!

My dad’s birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, and this year instead of buying him some present that he will put away in the closet for eternity (like fishing rods), I thought why not cook him dinner instead? It will be a nice change, and a lot of thought actually went into this idea so I’m sure he will like it much more than a stupid fishing rod. It feels like it’s more “coming from the heart” that kind of present, you know?
Kaya asked me what I will be cooking, and I told her that I will be making a nice salad, and some instant spaghetti, and garlic bread. The expensive kind from Wal-Mart. She had this expression on her face like she wanted to tell me something, but wasn’t quite sure how to phrase it. Kaya then said tentatively, “I think he will like the fishing rod.”

Nope, I bet he will like my idea of cooking dinner much better. I plan to make dessert too; this is a recent addition to the menu. So what if I burnt a couple of cookies from the premade cookie dough I got from the grocery store? I will get better with practice. Beside, when I suggested my brilliant idea to my dad, he told me he will eat anything I make. Ok, well, he didn’t exactly say that at first.

When I announce the good news that I was making dinner on my dad’s birthday, my mom asked what I will be cooking. I repeated the menu I listed to Kaya, and she burst out laughing uncontrollably. And she didn’t stop. I was naturally confused, as I’m sure; all of you are, so I asked what was so funny. I fail to see any humor in my amazing news. She was laughing to hard to respond for a while. Finally, she told me that she just remembered a joke she heard the day before. Oh. Ok. My dad had the same look on his face as Kaya when I told him the news, and he was like, “ was thinking maybe we could go out for dinner?” I told him what a silly idea, there’s no need since I’m making it and I think he’ll be very impressed with the result. I can even squeeze some fresh lemonade to go with the spaghetti. (Everyone just overlook the fact that it’s instant. Spaghetti is too complicated to make.) At my suggestion, my mom laughed even harder until she was almost hysterical. I don’t know what joke is that funny. I asked my parents if they have any friends they want to invite over for dinner on that day, since it’s the first time I’ve ever cooked for anyone.
Mom (still hysterical): I don’t have any friends.
Dad:’re probably all busy.
That’s fine by me. We’ll just have a nice, family dinner. I’m sure they will love it!

Friday, December 2, 2011

The dumb blonde theory

I was telling Joey a blonde joke, and he starts complaining about why blondes are the ones being stereotyped as dumb, and not people with other hair colours. I told him that everyone probably got this information based on statistics. They most likely gathered data on which group of people, based on hair colour, are the stupidest, and blondes won the stupid contest. But Joey refused to listen to logic and rants about how it’s probably some guy in the 1800s that came with this idea and now blondes are being stereotyped.
Kaya told him that it was not some guy in the 1800s, it was Joey himself who came up with the idea that blondes are stupid and at the time, he thought it was really clever, but afterwards, he realize he’s blonde himself and now he’s being made fun of my me everyday. Hahaha, I love her reasoning.
Well, most probable, the dumb blonde theory is based statistics. Sean, if you have read all my older blog posts, is extremely idiotic. No further evidence needed. And he’s a blonde.
Dena is a natural blonde, but she dyed her hair black last year when she was going through her emo phase. One day, I was sitting in class, thinking about my English essay, and I absentmindedly closed my pencil case then tried to put my pencil in. Dena came by and laughed, and said, “Having a blonde moment?” How can you say that when you’re a blonde yourself? I guess only blondes can. Ah, Dena, a true blonde at heart.
Joey is stupid beyond belief, yet he still thinks he’s the smartest person alive. Now, I’m not saying that he’s not good at anything. He’s generally good at sports. He’s good at some things, just not many things. Anyways, he was laughing at some kid we saw at the play A Christmas Carol because the kid was all like, “I don’t know if you guys have this, but my school has something called D2L.” Every single school in our city has D2L (a website where you can upload your work for teachers.) I have to admit, it is pretty funny, but what Joey tells me is even funnier. He doesn’t know how to upload homework into D2L. That is the whole entire point of the website, so you can upload your homework or hand it in. How did he get through grade 7 and 8 without knowing how? Because Kaya is so nice, she agreed to show him how to in the school library. And it just gets funnier. It turns out Joey doesn’t know how to turn on a computer. He pressed the power button on the monitor, and when nothing happened, he pressed it again, turning it off when he just turned it on. Seeing that the monitor wasn’t responding to his continuous pressing, Joey was confused and kept on pressing. He did not think to turn on the main processor. Nope, that’s just how smart he is. (I am going to turn on the processor, Kaya, you did it before me!) I finally had enough of his pressing rampage and turned on his desktop for him.
It gets better. Joey doesn’t know how to use a calculator as well. He has this huge scientific one and he doesn’t know how to use it. He doesn’t know where the exponent button is, so instead, he just multiplies everything repeatedly. After I told him where it is, he said that he is so much faster at doing math homework now. He doesn’t know where negative and positive buttons are either, or anything else for that matter. And he proudly admits that to me. Then he said, “at least I know how to punch in numbers in the calculator.” I told him I was very impressive in my most sarcastic voice, but I guess my sarcasm is wasted on him because he told me he was really impressed with himself too.
Need I state more examples of dumb blondes? I now have proved that this stereotype is true. I’m not saying that all blondes are like Joey, some blond people are really smart, just not Joey. This is kind of like the “a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square” thing. Stereotypes are not untrue, rather, they are incomplete.